Conquer NaNoWriMo – It’s over. And now?

Posted on 30. November 2017 by fmoebius
Exhausted Author

Exhausted Author

Today is the last day of this year’s NaNoWriMo.

Maybe you’re making a huge push to win today, like I’m doing.

Maybe you already know you won’t make the 50,000 words.

And yes, it does matter in a way, and it doesn’t matter in another.

Why it matters that you win NaNo

Writing those 50k words wasn’t easy. You probably had to push yourself, you had to make yourself write even if you didn’t feel like it, and it probably was a struggle to find enough stuff to even put into the story.

You worked harder than in every other month of this years. And you stuck to your committment. You did this, and you should be proud of it.

What’s even more important – you proved to yourself that you can do that. That you can write every day, that you can create a story, and that you can finish a huge task by tackling a bit of it every day.

Well done!

Why it doesn’t matter that you win NaNo Continue reading →

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Conquer NaNoWriMo – Argh, I’m Behind!

Posted on 23. November 2017 by fmoebius
Frantic Author

Argh, I’m behind!

If you’re like me, you’re keeping track of your NaNo word count. Maybe you have even diligently entered it into your dashboard at the NaNo website. Maybe you use a spreadsheet to monitor your word count and how you’re doing. (I do. Ahem.)

And you can see you’ve fallen behind.

Maybe a lot behind.

Here’s what you can do. But first, let’s figure out what type of writer you are.

How people do NaNoWriMo

For just a moment, I want to talk about the four kinds of NaNo participants. They way I see it, there are Racehorses, Steady Writers, Bingers and Dropouts.

Now, the Racehorses just run off and finish NaNo on Day 10, and then go on to accumulate word counts of over 100,000. I know people like that. You’re not one of them. I can say this fairly confidently, because Racehorses don’t bother to read NaNo blogs. They don’t need support since they are doing just fine.

The Steady Writers power up to the NaNo word count (1,667 words per day, plus a little buffer) every day, and they are exactly where they should be, plus buffer. There have been years when I have managed that, and it’s how I prefer to do NaNo. My daily aim is 2k words. One year, I finished NaNo on November 25th…

The Bingers go on writing binges and sprints and sometimes pull an all-nighter, and then they need a day or two to recover. They write their NaNovel in spurts.

And the Dropouts, well, they drop out. You’re not one of them, or you wouldn’t be here hoping to save your NaNovel. Continue reading →

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Conquer NaNoWriMo – This is so hard!

Posted on 16. November 2017 by fmoebius
struggling author

Struggling Author

NaNoWriMo has been going on for two weeks now.

If you’re like me, you’re more or less on target for the 25,000 words mid-month. If you’re like most of my writing buddies on the NaNo site, you’re behind.

And yet, you have been writing every day. Most likely, you’ve been writing more words in these two weeks than in the last three months together.

And it is HARD.

You may have sacrificed some sleep time for word count – I certainly did – and you may have cancelled meeting friends or other activities. And you’re most likely still behind.

In addition, you’re beyond the initial thrill with the story, and coming up with new plot points and interesting scenes is also getting harder.

Your brain is tired Continue reading →

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Conquer NaNoWriMo – Help, I’m Stuck!

Posted on 9. November 2017 by fmoebius
I'm so stuck

I’m so stuck!

NaNoWriMo has been going for a week, and you’ve probably run into the bane of writing: You got stuck.

Brain: Empty.

Inspiration: None.

Story: Utterly stuck in a dead corner

And it’s easy to either panic in that moment or to throw up your hands and give up.

And believe that you’re not cut out to be a writer.

Here’s a secret:

It happens to every single one of us. Every writer gets stuck.

Every. Single. One.

It’s normal. It’s part of being a writer.

And one big part of NaNo is to create so much pressure on you to write – doing those 1,667 words per day isn’t necessarily easy – that you suspend your inner critic and just write. Continue reading →

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Conquer NaNoWriMo – Can I even do this?

Posted on 2. November 2017 by fmoebius
Can I even do this?

Can I even do this?

Today is day 2 of NaNoWriMo.

Maybe you struggled getting the necessary word count yesterday (1,667 words, btw.). Maybe, like me, you didn’t even make it that far. Maybe you already doubt you can do it again because it was so hard.

Maybe you think that what you wrote is all terrible.

Maybe you are already doubting that you’re a writer.

This is how you fail NaNoWriMo on day 2.

And it’s totally unnecessary.

You see, the truth is, one day isn’t enough to find out if you’re a writer or not, especially during NaNoWriMo.

One day isn’t enough to know that what you wrote is bad.

So I’m asking you to step back for a moment and stop worrying about word count and plot and characters.

Take a deep breath. Continue reading →

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Family System Dynamics – Final Thoughts

Posted on 26. October 2017 by fmoebius
Family

Family

Family System Dynamics affect every single one of us – and of course, every character in your stories. I’ve been working with that kind of energy for years, and I hope I have been able to show some of what goes on in families to you.

This is very much a case where knowledge helps. Because you can only see what you know.

Visualizing a family system

Imagine a family like mobile, everyone tied together by that invisible energy of the family system. Everyone connected with the others.

That’s what you live in. That’s what I live in. What everyone lives in.

Even if we dislike our family.

This is unescapable. And real.

And yes, it can feel as if you’re caught in a web.

But this knowledge can arm you, and give you ways of working with this web that make life better for you – and often enough for the rest of the family. Continue reading →

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Family System Dynamics – The Burden

Posted on 19. October 2017 by fmoebius
The Burden

The Burden

This is another concept practically unknown outside of family systems work: The Burden.

Here’s how it works:

When we are born into a family, we quickly become aware of all the emotions around us. All the energy swirling and engulfing us. It is our family, after all.

And being loving and caring children, we choose to help other family members, out of pure, innocent love.

So if one of our family members carries a negative energy – whatever it is – we take on parts of it. Sometimes a little part, sometimes a big part. We take on this burden in order to make their lives easier.

This can be anything. It can even be something handed down this way through generations.

Anger. Shame. Guilt. Grief. Loneliness…

We carry this Burden Continue reading →

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Family System Dynamics – The Void

Posted on 12. October 2017 by fmoebius
The Void

The Void

Going back to the Law #1 which states that everyone born into a family actually belongs to it (and adoption counts, as well), bad things happen when a family member is denied their space by other family members.

An empty space in the family system invites trouble.

I like to call this The Void.

The family system doesn’t “forget” a member. And if someone is ousted from their place, the family system keeps that space “empty”.

At the same time, just like nature, a family system abhors a vacuum.

So the system tries to fill that empty space.

And someone always volunteers.

Which is a bad thing.

Filling someone else’s space is hard.

There are several reasons why filling the void is bad for the entire system – but better than leaving it empty – and bad for the individual filling the position. Continue reading →

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Family System Dynamics – Ancestral Energy

Posted on 5. October 2017 by fmoebius
Ancestral Line

Ancestral Line

Family systems encompass more than just your immediate family, ie. the one you grew up in or the one you live in now.

In fact, those systems stretch back for generations, from grandparents to great-greats and beyond. Usually, however, the influence from way back is small.

Usually.

There is one area where the influence remains strong through the ancestral lines:

Ancestral energy

Obviously, there are two different lines of energy through the generations, maternal and paternal. And they hand down different types of energy.

The maternal line tends to carry love while the paternal line carries strength and power.

Did I mention that family systems are conservative?

Fortunately, every one of us has access to both lines, no matter what our genes say or our gender is. We can connect to them and receive both love as well as strength and power. Continue reading →

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Family System Dynamics – Law #3

Posted on 28. September 2017 by fmoebius
Balance

Balance

Law #3 is all about balance, and that’s much less obvious than the last two laws.

Basically, within a family system there has to be a balance between giving and taking. Once again, I’m going to use the mobile analogy: If one or two family members constantly take, they get heavier and heavier. And in very bad cases, they can tear that mobile apart.

Now we all know people who love to give and give and give and have a hard time actually receiving anything. We like to look at those as if they were heroes. Our society thinks they are generous and loving.

They are not. They are distorting the balance by not allowing others to give back.

Constant giving is destructive.

I can tell a sad tale about that, one that might sound familiar. And yes, it is true:

I had a very nice couple as friends when I was studying at university. But money was tight, and so they came to an agreement: He would work to earn the money they needed to live on and put her through university, and once she got her degree and a good job, he’d get to study and she would support him in turn.

That’s a pretty good deal, isn’t it? Continue reading →

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