Solitaire
So today, I’m going to talk about time wasters.
We writers are really good at wasting our time, and not writing. Facebook, Twitter, Solitaire – great time sinks. Great places to rest our minds and to not worry about a story or sales numbers.
And sometimes, our minds truly need a break.
But especially Facebook and Solitaire are very, very good at seducing our mind away from the task of writing. Even better than chocolate.
And it’s not your fault.
Oh, I hear you say, how is it not? I’m the one doing this, after all.
Let me reassure you that it has little to do with willpower. Or being a good writer. Or being a good business person. Or being a good anything. Also, willpower runs out. It’s a limited resource.
No, it’s something different.
It has everything to do with fear.
Yes. Solitaire is a place where we go to numb the fear. And Facebook is a place where we go to leave our fear behind, because we can tell ourselves it’s marketing. Even if we just scroll down our timeline mindlessly.
That kind of behavior the result of safety programming in our minds.
We learned to do this in order not to feel the unpleasant emotions connected to not writing or being stuck in writing. Both leads to feelings of shame and failure. Because we are writers, and if we don’t write or can’t write, then what?
We lose a part of our selves.
So we play Solitaire in order to not feel that pain. It’s like a band aid for the mind. And there is often an even bigger fear lurking behind all of that, causing the problem.
What fear are you talking about?
The fear of writing.
Really? Hang on for a moment.
That’s just the start of the path. We think it’s fear of writing because writing is the action where the fear shows up. However, if we look closer, it’s not truly the fear of writing. It’s the fear of what comes after having written:
Showing our work.
Beta Readers.
Feedback.
Editing
Publishing (which is a whole host of other stuff)
Reviews.
JUDGMENT.
It’s the fear of being judged for our writing. What will they think?
And it all spirals back because of our awesome, creative, unstoppable minds and stops us from writing.
Unless we actually let go of that fear.
And tapping is a great way to do so. Here are your set-up phrases:
Even though I’m so worried about what they will think, and that essentially stops me from writing, I’m a good writer, and I now choose to let go of that fear of being judged.
Even though I find myself playing Solitaire all the time instead of writing, I’m okay the way I am, and I now choose to let go of all fears that send me there, and enjoy my writing instead.
Even though I’m scared of all the things that have to happen after I have written, I’m a good writer, and I now choose to let go of that overwhelm and focus on writing instead.
Your Turn:
What feelings send you over to Solitaire?
What happens when you play Solitaire?
What happened while you were tapping?
And finally – what great story are you writing right now?
Write a comment and share the good stuff!
Image Source: F. Moebius
PS: Fears often trigger safety programs and make us search for something, anything that soothes the worry. This is learned but mostly unconscious behaviour which is difficult to shift by willpower or intention alone. EFT is an awesome tool to release fear fast and lastingly.
I’d love to do that for you. If that option appeals to you and you want to learn more, click HERE and send me an email. Together, we’ll figure out how I can support you best.
PPS: My newsletter contains a full tapping round to go with my blog posts, so you can start getting results. Sign up through the form on the upper right hand corner, and receive that tapping round plus occasional special offers. If you’re on a mobile, you can sign up through this link: Newsletter Sign-up.
